tears – Never had a white picket fence

Magnolia

I’m not talking about the Tom Cruise movie or the Joanna Gaines line. I’m talking about the magnolia trees as they bloomed this spring. Every single first without my husband has sent me into a tailspin, and I know it will continue but springtime threw me into one headfirst. Springtime is supposed the time of…

I’m crazy for trying and crazy for crying

The biggest road block to going “home” was not having one to go to. I was going “home” to mom’s condo. My life was still imploded. My life IS still imploded. Not one thing that has happened have I asked for, or wanted. My husband made all the decisions for me and wanted them implemented.…

So lonely

I didn’t want to get admitted to that tertiary care hospital, but I sure didn’t want to risk a whole weekend of being stuck in the emergency room. They listened to my concerns about why I didn’t want to be admitted there, that my smaller hospital was part of the same healthcare system and I…

C’mon down!

The next two weeks I felt like overall things were getting better. I even bounded down the stairs one morning straight into his arms and told him we were going to be alright. I couldn’t have been more wrong. We had our moments, but it felt like we were doing ok, making improvements. He was…

Something new, something old, something borrowed and something blue

We didn’t want a big gala for our wedding. At least I didn’t. If I had my way, we would have just gone down to the courthouse and gotten married, just him and him. He told me I could do whatever I wanted. Money was no limit. You may recall I had said before I…

Whale Whale Whale

I’ve been to Hawaii twice. I think it’s a magical place. The biggest reason I think it’s magical is because of the whales. I know, there are whales all over the world. Hawaii was the first place I got a taste of their majestic beauty and the abundance of them. I had gone with my…

Big Picture

This is where my memory starts getting a little dicey. I want to remember all those moments we were together those last months as best I can, even if they were bad, because I do love him. Don’t forget, even if it’s crazy, even if I am crazy, he is my husband, I do love…